Hi Everyone,
Usually my plan will just be to post each chapter separately. If I want to give you some insight into this process or how I’m using your feedback, I’ll make a separate email newsletter entry for that type of thing. On the other hand, I want to be mindful of not filling your inboxes with too many emails. Anyhow, below you’ll see the rough draft for Chapter One, and it’s worth reminding you that it’s rough draft. Feel free to proofread and catch errors in conventions, but I’m also looking for feedback about character and plot. Thanks again for taking the time to share this experience with me.
Chapter One
“If she’s amazing, she won’t be easy. If she’s easy, she won’t be amazing. If she’s worth it, you wont give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy. … Truth is, everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.” ~ Bob Marley
“Nica, I just want to have some idea when you might get here,” said Jeremy.
There was a pregnant pause on the other end of the phone, but he had learned to wait these out. Otherwise, he ended up having conversations with himself and walked away more confused than ever.
“I expect you can live your own life without me,” she finally responded.
Jeremy felt the familiar piercing in his heart when she would say something insensitive. Nica, short for Veronica and a nickname she gave herself, was mostly a kind person. When she was not, she was distinctly unkind.
“It’s insulting that you would even say that,” he responded. “I’m not a child or some kind of parasite who doesn’t know what to do without you. But if you’re going to be an hour versus three hours, I can at least plan how to use my time.”
He heard her exhale into the phone.
“Nica, it’s just showing someone respect,” he continued. “I’m not trying to control you or restrict you or whatever. Take an hour, take three hours, but just give me some idea ... Not to the minute, for God’s sakes, but at least some kind of ballpark time?”
Jeremy reminded himself to stop talking. Nica waited him out for a bit, but then relented.
“Fine,’ she said. “Sevenish.”
It was Jeremy’s turn to exhale, which he did. He considered reminding her to let him know if things changed, but decided that might be pushing it. That was the funny thing about Nica; what seemed prosaic with other people became complicated with her. They had engaged in long and sometimes heated conversations about time, for example. On one level, he enjoyed that kind of thing - they both did. It was one of the things that drew them to each other. Street philosophers, systemic thinkers and learners, whatever you wanted to call it, they clicked that way. But, Jesus Christ, just give me some idea when you might be here!
“Thank you,” is what he landed on.
“Okay, goodbye,” she said.
*****
Jeremy always had a lot to do, but usually no single thing that was imminently pressing. He was now helping to manage a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) farm in Kingston, New York, but had started college at the business school at Indiana University. The second accounting class he took convinced him he’d chosen the wrong path so he dropped out and bounced around from job to job for a while, convinced by the romantic notions of literature and youth that this was how he would find his calling: truck driver, sous chef, telemarketing, selling real estate ...more than he could remember sometimes.
It was at one of these jobs that he’d met Nica ten years before when both of them were in their early twenties. They met at the shoe store where they make the sales associates wear referee shirts.
“Nice shirt, Red” she had said to him the first time they ever laid eyes on each other.
Jeremey had thick, wavy red hair that naturally went up as it got longer, creating a kind of pompadour style. He wore it longer like that when he was younger, but in recent years he’d worn it clipper cut short because he thought it drew less attention. Like a lot of red headed people, he felt an almost stigma about his hair color, what with strangers and friends alike calling him ginger and asking to touch it, stuff like that.
Though Nika worked for the same shoe company, she didn’t have to wear the referee shirt. She went from store to store setting up the displays and monitoring sales of the ancillary products like shoe laces, tee shirts, socks, and so forth.
“First thing I told them,” she shared with Jeremy once they started to get to know each other, “I’m not wearing that stupid shirt.”
They were not drawn to each other immediately. Neither was the others’ type, physically anyway, they shared after they had become close. Jeremy was usually drawn to women who were taller, like him, and brunettes because he thought they went better with his red hair. He was a rangy six feet, two inches tall and just assumed he should have a partner who matched that to some extent. He’d once dated a woman who was six feet tall and loved that they could look directly into each other’s eyes, for example.
But Nica was a full foot shorter and was more curvy, which was accentuated by her petite stature. He eventually grew to love her “gymnast thighs” as he called them, but it wasn’t what he was used to.
For her part, not surprisingly to Jeremy, she had never dated a redheaded man and didn't think that, generally, they were very attractive. She also usually dated men that were at least ten years older than her. Younger guys, she said to him once, “bore the fuck out of me.”
The shoe store where they met was located just outside Indianapolis, Indiana, and their first date there wasn’t exactly a case study in explosive chemistry, to say the least. They met at the Tegry Bistro, a sushi restaurant she had suggested after they discovered both enjoyed that kind of food.
But the conversation was stilted and choppy. They kept interrupting each other with meet and greet style interview type questions ...how many siblings, what were you like in high school, what are some things you like to do ...blah, blah, blah. And they sat upright at the booth, even pushing away from the table, not leaned in with “come to me” energy. After the date was over and they both went home, he texted her that he enjoyed their time together and liked her laugh.
“Thanks,” she texted back, and nothing more.
“Ouch, “ he remembered saying to himself. “So much for that.”
In spite of this, they made plans for a second date, this time an alternative music festival a little further away in a small town called Franklin. Like sushi, it was a common interest and they hoped that might lead to more of a connection. At first, Jeremy thought he’d drop out of these plans thinking it a waste of time. But mostly because he didn’t have other plans that day, he said why not. Tellingly, in terms of their mutual expectations, both suggested they meet there rather than drive together.
When Jeremy arrived in the parking lot, he walked around a bit looking for her car, a black 2007 Honda Fit. There seemed to be a lot of those, or small cars like it, and he was unsuccessful in his search. He had his hands on his hips and was looking to his left when he felt a soft hand on his right cheek apply pressure to turn his face in the other direction. Jeremy was a bit startled, but the rest of his body remained still and, eventually, his eyes met hers at a closer distance than they had ever achieved, not three inches apart.
“Hey, you,” she said and leaned in to close the narrow distance between their faces. She planted a long, soft kiss on his lips, their mouths parting just enough to feel the tips of each others’ tongues.
Jeremy felt an electricity shoot through his entire body after they had pulled apart back to a lovers’ distance and was looking in her eyes again.
“It’s nice to see you,’ she said with a wry smile.
Just like that, she had totally transformed the energy between them. He would learn in time that this event was a harbinger of things to come in their relationship. In ways that were both healthy and toxic, Nica was the driving force between them. Her restless spirit and willingness to take chances thrilled him and nudged him out of his protective shell. But she was also like a black hole, sucking all the energy from the room, from their relationship. It was all about Nica and he sublimated himself to that dynamic.
She was both incredibly freeing and confining to him. He loved her deeply and resented her deeply. He couldn’t imagine a practical way to either live with her or without her. They had talked frequently, too frequently really, about the depth of their love and their relationship, had spent more time talking about that relationship than actually living it. And though they had broken up more times than they could keep track of - sometimes at his behest, sometimes hers - here they were together, still, almost ten years later.
But for now, Jeremy figured he had about two and a half hours to get some of the items on his never ending to-do list checked off. Or maybe longer ...but for sure not less. Nica was never early but she was very frequently, even nearly always, late.
He sighed and looked out the window. He saw dark clouds mixed with sun and wondered if it might rain.
Chapter One
Keep that feeback coming, folks. People have pointed out things I missed and given me other "food for thought", to be sure. So appreciative.
what are their zodiac signs